Chronicles of a Wrecking Yard

So I went to the wrecking yard today to get some parts for my car. My front passenger turn single was ripped of in a disastrous turn maneuver near my home. I also needed some minor cables that could only be purchased at a wrecking yard.

So, I found one in Orem called Duane's Auto Wrecking.

I have never been to a wrecking yard before but my expectations were all but surpassed as I ventured into a dungy, grease ridden manor with the customer service from hell.

OK, OK it wasn't that bad. I'm a guy, so I was drawn in by its filthiness and horrible customer service.

I went up to the desk and spoke to a Charlie. It was like pulling teeth to get someone to talk me. After my experience, I have written a short introduction that every associate in a wrecking yard and memorize and use to greet customers:

"Hi! Welcome to our Rat Infested Hole, where we sell parts of cars bashed beyond recognition, stored in no particular order, in our ridiculously large lot behind our office.

We won't help you find what you need. In fact we really don't care if you find what your looking for at all! All we care about is that we get through this day without having a heart attack or losing our mind.

If you need anything, anything at all, please don't hesitate to get it yourself. Oh, and good luck asking one of us a question, cause we only respond if you speak in a mountain-man voice with a frown.

We also enjoy confusing you. If you think you know cars, keep in mind we know more than you. So we will gauge your car knowledge and then speak to you one level higher than you can understand as to make you feel like a shmutz.

Please take note that we don't wear name tags or names on jackets. This is so you cannot call back and complain about a specific person.

Duane's Auto Wrecking. the happiest place on earth. (Also a great place for a date!)