Tubing the Mighty Provo River

I went tubing down the Provo river on Saturday. I know what your thinking: The mighty Provo River?! How can one man handle such a rushing and awesome force such as the Mighty Provo??!


Yes, well, I did. And I almost died. You see, tubing is just not as much fun if you have a tube that capsizes every 40 ft (or knots should I say). So, finally, after making it through the "Raging Bridge of Death", hanging halfway off the tube and getting cut up from the jagged rocks, I gave up. I laid there on the tube in agonizing pain from the cuts and bruises on my feet and side and let the Mighty Provo unleash its fury upon me.

A lay there, floating to the left towards a bundle of jagged, sharpened sticks, unable to move. I lifted mine eyes towards towards the wooden daggers and heard the beautiful sound of that horrific inner tube (if one could even call it that, it was more like a beach ball) releasing all its air, and go flat. I sunk an entire two inches to the bottom of the river, relieved that I didn't have to suffer anymore.

I exited the river with a friend and we walked on the highway as cars barreled straight towards us at speeds upwards of what seemed like 100+ mph.

Finally we made it back, thanks to the kindness of some strangers in a truck.

I ended up with a scar on my foot that looks just like the lightning bolt on Harry Potter's head. I know this cannot be a coincidence!

Will I float the Mighty Provo again? We will see.

If I do, this time I'll go with dressed in chain mail in blow up bubble with padding and a TV with some soda.